Simple Operating Instructions for First Time Urban Parents

Step 1: Learn to identify when the baby’s batteries need to be recharged – ideally prior to meltdown. Resist the temptation to laugh (muwhahaha) once a meltdown strikes although not always easy, laughing only seems to further frustrate the small child.

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Step 2: Install binky and satin blanket. Tip toe out of the closet you are using for a nursery and pray an ambulance doesn’t barrel down the street.

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Step 3: Once the baby is done charging, let her power back on at her own speed. Be sure to keep the binky installed until you are ready to remove the baby from the charger.

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Step 4: Take the baby out to a nice restaurant, ideally some place that serves gourmet mac and cheese. Home worked well for us on this occasion.

Disclaimer: Since each model is unique these instructions are only meant to provide humor. Truthfully, you might want to ignore these instructions altogether since the author can’t remember the last time she slept through the night and probably shouldn’t be giving advice to anyone.

P.S. For more WW fun, please visit A Beautiful Mess, Parenting by Dummies, Live and Love Out Loud, 5 Minutes for Mom, SuperMom, Seven Clown Circus, Better in Bulk, The Paper Mama, Dagmar*s momsense.

17 thoughts on “Simple Operating Instructions for First Time Urban Parents”

  1. LOL. This is one of my favourite posts of yours. Sometimes I find it difficult not to laugh at some of their meltdowns too…sometimes.

  2. LOL, that’s fantastic! A woman after my own heart, I just may have to start stalking you! Happy WW, & thnx for dropping by Crazy Town!

    😀

  3. Oh, I can feel you on the sleep thing … of course, reading clever and funny blog posts like yours isn’t helping … I really should go to bed :) Glad I found your site … if this post is any indication, you’re my kind of blogger … my kind of mom!

  4. Awesome post! Man, could she be any more gorgeous! And I love your ability to laugh at your fussy child. I really need to learn how to do that, as you know!

  5. This was great, but I’m inclined to say that there’s no way Ivey could ever have a meltdown or tantrum. She’s just too sweet to do something like that! lol Super cute, super funny post!
    Thanks for stopping by Kelly. It’s always a pleasure to stop by your place. Have a great day!

    Kristi, Live and Love…Out Loud
    @TweetingMama

  6. Thanks so much for coming over last week to visit! Sorry I’m running so late in returning the visit. It’s been a crazy busy week.

    Great photos! So clever too! I really enjoyed it.

    Kim

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